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Ronald Ray-Gun Shoots Down 

Department of Energy















Investing in alternate forms of energy was an idea that came up way back during Ronald Ray-gun's administration, remember? Scientists told Congressional committees that preliminary research had found some exciting possibilities for new energy sources and that federal funding through the DOE would be critical for such projects.  A reluctance to invest now, they warned, would lead to major problems down the road...


  • like oil shortages;

  • like Middle East wars;

  • like inability to power our industry;

  • like a grounded, de-energized military;

  • like massive loss of jobs,

  • like a growing industrial threat in China

but Ronald Reagan nixed such investment as foolish.

Ray-Gun communicated something to the effect that all that was needed to overcome energy shortfall was a revival of the American Spirit.  With that, his administration cut Department of Energy funding for renewable energy and conservation programs by as much as 80 percent while deregulating fossil fuel (oil and gasoline) markets. (

No one ever knew what the Great Communishitter meant when he uttered such things. American Spirit?  What the hell did a mind like his mean by that? Domination of the moneyed elite?  Bullying the ordinary guy?  The survival of the meanest?  Yet a little over half the voting little guys thought they understood very clearly what he meant.  He could have spoken gobbledygook, "Tle rufteek sitas raqen daf klikklepistak osh Unkeridan Slipdig", and that peachy plurality of Red State American dipcaca little guys wanting to be big tough guys would have known in their growling hearts exactly what the Great Communishitter had said:


  • Break the unions;

  • Ship the blacks back to Mongolia, or wherever they came from;

  • Disseminate free machineguns (to WASP-ass whites only);

  • Turn the United States into one big Baptist State;

  • Burn the Reds (not the Red States, please) at the stake;

  • And the East coast liberals right along with them;

  • Subsidize the "struggling" wealthy class;

  • And finally, unleash that good old American corporate tyranny.

  • And, oh yes, just in case all of the above might cause the income of everyone in America to nosedive by, say, $15,000.  That's okay, Joe Red State can tolerate that.  Say his income drops from $45,000 to $30,000, that's fine--all those ghetto people's income drops from $15,000 to ZERO; wouldn't that kind of maybe wipe out about 90% of you know who? (3rd stage translation of Great Communishitter lingo: refer to the 2nd bullet point above and think of how much money Uncle Sam could save on shipping costs).


Yeah, I got it; unambiguous, unequivocal, explicit, intelligent, progressive things like that.

One thing Ronald Reagan blurted out was actually clear though, in fact very clear; we can see it even clearer today, and that was that...

American investment in alternative energy was NOT going to happen on Ronald Reagan's watch.

Even my blue brain cells understood that.

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